"Turn within and you will become free and liberated, because it's all a dream."  ~Robert Adams

We all come into this world with a purpose and mission.  Your existence is not by chance.  There is a very important reason why you are here.  Your life is not a coincidence, and who you are was not an accident.  Everything and everyone in this Universe is needed exactly the way it is, in order for the whole existence to be complete and sacred as it truly is.  The Universe does not make mistakes.  It is a highly intelligent matrix of conscious energy that is continuously unfolding in absolute perfection.
I've come to the understanding that every soul who has incarnated on this planet, is here to heal themselves and help others heal themselves.  There would be no other reason for all the wars, violence, emotional trauma and mental wounding that occurs if the final goal wasn't to experience healing.  Nothing is by chance. The way your trauma happened was perfect, as it happened for you, not to you.  Playing the victim role is only seeing one side of the coin.  The most empowering truth to discover is that you have the power to be pain free!  You are the grand master artist who is forever sculpting the clay with each and every moment you're alive.
If you don't stop to make the healing of your inner world a priority, you end up become a talking/walking wound that easily bleeds whenever another says or does the "wrong thing".  When you can recognize that you are still carrying a pain, you are becoming more sensitive, more conscious, and able to feel the seething wound buried in your emotional body.  Your willingness to be a warrior for healing your past means one important thing.  That you care about you!   The initial choice to look inside and find true peace with past emotional pain will one day skyrocket your vibration so you can manifest a truly joyous, and loving abundant life, that is deeply fulfilling as well. 
Perhaps the best reason of all to look inside and deal with your demons is to that it opens the door to Enlightenment.  When you create lightness in your emotional body, it yields to natural feelings of freedom, self-love, immense joy, happiness and a profound state of bliss that naturally follow soon after.  The enlightened state is nothing to scoff at, for it is a meeting with the God Source itself in complete harmony and unity. A whole healed body and mind is simply an open receptive vessel for the divine to enter.  It is the only way a higher enlightened state of consciousness can come in and remain rooted in you.  You cannot sit and meditate in bliss with the God Source when your past self is trying to steer the karmic wheel, still furious about "what happened" back then, screaming obscenities in the basement of your subconscious mind.
The key is know that nothing is by chance.  The past relationships where you played the "angry-victim" game was necessary for you to create a wound to heal. Without a wound you couldn't have the sacred enlightening experience that your soul signed up to have on Earth. Your job however, is not to keep playing that same old game.  You are here to discover your innate power to heal yourself.  It's as simply as changing how you respond to everyone in any turbulent triggering situation.
Every situation you encounter is an opportunity to dive deeper inside and heal any wound festering inside you.  Simply make the conscious intention that this is what you want to manifest and it will come to you. There are no real victims in the world of conscious co-creation.  You created your interpretation of why things happened to you (instead of for you) so you also have the power to reverse that.  You are responsible for everything you've manifested thus far.  I've found the results we manifest is all based on your karma from actions in this life (and even past lives) combined with the level of consciousness you continue to have, hold and entertain today.
So true healing leads to easier manifesting.  When you take on a deep mental and emotional cleansing, you find a higher spiritual understanding instantly follows.  You may not at first understand how something as simple the intention to have deep peace with your past can lead to such a high transcended experience such as enlightenment, yet it will.  When you're 100% at peace with your past you've just liberated the tight confining restraints the struggling ego has on you and your life. Its tricky to see, yet the ego is always in charge here, especially when you think you are!  Yet, when you surrender to walking this healing path bathing in daily forgiveness, the ego has to give in and recognize that you're connected to an infinite abundant loving God-Source already.  Below are 3 essential steps that will take you deeper on your trek towards the self-healing process...enjoy!
The First Step to healing you is recognizing where and when you initially created the wound.  You don't have to know exactly the time, place or date, just the general feeling will do. Yet, you will want to take at least 2-3 hours alone to look deep deep inside yourself, exploring where you're still holding onto past pain. During this time start to own the fact that you created this pain, and you are 100% responsible for its manifestation.  Even though it may appear you're The Victim in your personal circumstance, don't go down that path. To fully heal you must drop all disempowered beliefs. This means that you're accepted that it was "a role" you chose to play at the time, which enabled the wound and trauma to occur, and thus inadvertently later would empower you to play the opposing role of the healer who transcended it.
The Second Step to healing you is sitting with your pain, relaxing into the very core trauma inside it let it have a voice.  Your pain has a wonderful story to tell. Let it speak from the pain without buying into its victim game and story.  Do this out loud and journal it if possible. To experience a full healing, you must go through hell to find heaven. You must sit still in the fire of that emotional pain you keep having to be freed from it.  Remember that this fire is a cleansing fire, that burns away the ego that is ruining your life and creating all sorts of extra unnecessary suffering.  Sit in the fire, let your ego burn away into nothing.  Release your identification with the angry victim held in those past memories.  Those thoughts are only creating an emotional daily turmoil inside that you cannot escape from.  So decide to face it and meet this energy head on!  You will feel soooo much better tomorrow...waking up naturally knowing you faced and embraced your greatest demon.
The Third Step to healing you is creating a new healthy pattern and belief system that supports a more empowered way of living in this world.  Your beliefs about life are very powerful, and manifest into the thoughts you think and the words you speak.  When you can understand, know and believe that you are an extremely powerful being who can heal yourself simply by making the continuous choice to do so, the miracle of healing will happen.  You are pure conscious awareness which nothing can stick to.  You are like Teflon, which can transcend all suffering letting it glide right off.  Play with this empowered enlightening state daily and you'll accomplish the great feat of true inner peace.  You won't ever think of complaining about anything or blaming others for your problems again.  That action would just make the outer world more powerful than your inner world.  Instead you'll choose to abide in the knowingness that at your very core, you are The Source of love itself.  There is no energy more healing than love. Know this and you'll stop being so harsh, sarcastic, and rushed about everything.  You'll stop believing in the lie that you created and recognize how extremely sensitive, sacred and lovable you actually are. 

Perhaps the greatest hidden issue to reveal on this journey is that your wound is your story. When you are so wrapped up in the habit of believing in your personal (yet very validated) victim story that you would rather hold onto it than forgive, take this as the ultimate warning sign.  Remember, it's extremely terrifying for the ego to let go of its story.  It would rather die than retreat.  Holding onto the past really means survival for the ego.  Letting go means to stop playing a certifiable victim-blame game and be BIG again.  Letting go of the little wounded "me" means releasing all attachment to your ego's expectations, demands, and desires.  You're instead choosing to come from a state of trust and surrender, sharing with others the unlimited creative loving nature you truly are.