There’s one trait that everyone needs to have if they want to succeed, and that’s trustworthiness. Technically, it’s not so much being trustworthy, but being perceived as trustworthy, that matters. You can be as honest, fair, and reliable as the day is long, but if nobody else sees you that way, it won’t help you.
When your boss doesn’t trust you, you don’t get key assignments, promotions or the latitude to do things your own way and take risks. When your colleagues and employees don’t trust you, you don’t get their best effort, or all the information you need from them to make good decisions.
If you want other people to believe that you are trustworthy, you should be aware that you may be seriously undermining that belief if you appear to lack self-control. New research shows that people just won’t trust you when you seem like you might have a willpower problem. If you think about it, this makes a lot of intuitive sense. We trust people because we know that when things get hard, or when it might be tempting for them to put their own interests first, they’ll resist temptation and do what’s right.
Studies show that when you engage in behaviors that are indicative of low self-control, your trustworthiness is diminished. In other words, all those things you know you shouldn’t do — smoking, overeating, impulsive spending, being lazy, late, disorganized, excessively emotional or having a quick temper — may be even worse for you than you ever realized, because of the collateral damage they are doing to your reputation.
So if you want to be trusted, you’re going to have to conquer these trust saboteurs. To do that, you’ll need to understand how willpower really works, and how you can get your hands on some more of it.
The Secret to Earning Trust: Willpower
Your capacity for self-control is like the muscles in your body. Like biceps or triceps, willpower varies in its strength, not only from person to person, but from moment to moment. Just as well-developed biceps sometimes get tired and jelly-like after a strenuous workout, so too does your willpower “muscle.”
Even everyday actions like decision-making or trying to make a good impression can sap this valuable resource. So can coping with the stresses of your career and family. When you tax it too much at once, or for too long, the well of self-control strength runs dry, no matter who you are. It is in these moments that the doughnut (or the cigarette, or your hot temper) wins.
So if you are serious about resisting your unwanted impulses, start by making peace with the fact that your willpower is limited. If you’ve spent all your self-control handling stresses at work, you will not have much left at the end of the day for sticking to your resolutions. Think about when you are most likely to feel drained and vulnerable, and make a plan to keep yourself out of harm’s way. Decide, in advance, what you will do instead when the impulse strikes.
The good news is, willpower depletion is only temporary. Give your muscle time to bounce back, and you’ll be back in fighting form. When rest is not an option, recent research shows that you can actually speed up your self-control recovery, or give it a boost when reserves are low, simply by thinking about people you know who have lot of self-control. (Thinking about my impossibly self-possessed mother does wonders for me when I’m about to fall off the no-cheesecake wagon.)
Or, you can try giving yourself a pick-me-up. I don’t mean a cocktail — I mean something that puts you in a good mood. (Again, not a cocktail — it may be mood-enhancing, but alcohol is definitely not willpower-enhancing, nor trust-enhancing). Anything that lifts your spirits should also help restore your self-control strength when you’re looking for a quick fix.
The other way in which willpower is like a muscle (and the really great news for those of us trying to rid ourselves of a trust saboteur) is that it can be made stronger over time, if you give it regular workouts. Recent studies show that daily activities such as exercising, keeping track of your finances or what you are eating — or even just remembering to sit up straight every time you think of it — can strengthen your capacity for self-control. For example, in one study, people who were given free gym memberships and stuck to a daily exercise program for two months not only got physically healthier, but also smoked fewer cigarettes, drank less alcohol, and ate less junk food. They were better able to control their tempers, and less likely to spend money impulsively. They didn’t leave their dishes in the sink, didn’t put things off until later, and missed fewer appointments. In fact, every aspect of their lives that required the use of willpower improved dramatically.
So if you want to build more willpower, start by picking an activity (or avoiding one) that fits with your life and your goals — anything that requires you to override an impulse or desire again and again, and add this activity to your daily routine. It will be hard in the beginning, but it will get easier over time if you hang in there, because your capacity for self-control will grow. Other people will notice the change, and trust you more.
Armed with more willpower and the trust of those around you, you’ll be more successful than ever before.

most people doom their chances for success by starting with negative thoughts. They start with the fact that they don’t like something about themselves. They fixate on it, and decide to be unhappy until they fix it.  Without happiness, you miss out on all of the happiness advantage: increased energy, improved self-efficacy, higher resilience, improved immune system and greater consistency.  Here are three ways to use happiness to improve your health and achieve your health goals.
#1  Start with happiness.  If you are going to start a diet or exercise plan, start with happiness. Make a list of the attributes you like about yourself which will help you accomplish the goal. For example, “I like that I’m good convincing my friends to have fun” means that you might want to use that skill set to start a running group or inspire a friend to be a workout buddy.  In The Happiness Advantage, I describe how positive brains have 31% higher levels of productivity, higher pain tolerance, 3 times the levels of creativity, are 90% more likely to live to 85, and their symptoms feel less acute.  You can apply this human potential bump to your diet and exercise goals, instead of starting at a deficit as your brain records how unhappy it is about your current health.
#2 Change your mindset.  Stick with me on this one, make the exercise or diet fun. As Dr. Z says, “By prioritizing happiness, you increase the chance of achieving the health outcome you seek. But happiness is in the mind so you must work on your brain before your body.”  That sounds harder than it is. I like lifting weights because you can see the results quickly. But I hate sitting on a bike reading. I should say “hated,” because I just got a kindle. I don’t know how people have the agility to turn physical pages on an old fashioned book while swinging on an elliptical machine, but biking and kindling is even easier than learning to ride a bike. I bought fun books, that grab my attention, and now, I actually find myself not only starting with cardio, but I finish my workouts by biking when I need to know what happens in my book. Now I look forward to reading, so I’m looking forward to biking.
#3 Reward yourself. Make sure that your reward is not food related. The goal for this is to keep the happiness fueling you throughout the process, not just months/years later at the completion of your goal. If you don’t have happiness fueling you, your brain will get bored or frustrated.
Which comes first, happiness or health? The happiness advantage research is clear. If you do not start with happiness, you’ll miss out on both.

3 “surprising good-for-you” foods that scientists have discovered to enhance the brain’s mental functions:

1.      Coffee

If you’re trying to kick your java habit you might want to reconsider. A recent Finnish study of 1,400 longtime coffee drinkers reveals that people who sipped between three to five cups of coffee a day in their 40s and 50s reduced their odds of developing Alzheimer’s disease by 65 percent compared with those who downed fewer than two cups a day.

Researchers believe that coffee’s caffeine and ample antioxidants are the keys to its protective affects.

2.      Eggs

The incredible edible egg appears to do incredulous things for your brain. Whole eggs are not only high in protein, and low in calories, but they are also rich in Vitamin E, omega-3 fatty acids and B vitamins. B vitamins may help prevent inflammation and aid in the new brain cell development. Look for eggs such as Eggland’s Best Eggs, or other “higher” omega-3 fatty acids eggs (they even taste better). Recommendation: 4 whole eggs per week.

3.      Chocolate
You’ve heard the good news that chocolate can lower your blood pressure. Now researchers have discovered it can also keep your mind sharp.
A 2009 Journal of Nutrition study found that eating as little as one-third of an ounce of chocolate a day (the size of about two Hersey’s kisses) helps protect against age-related memory loss. They credit polyphenols in cocoa with increasing blood flow to the brain.

World's 38 UNSEEN Places, Truly Amazing!

1. Ebenalp, Switzerland！A Restaurant!    2.  Lauterbrunnen Valley ,  Switzerland      3. Thunersee , Switzerland 4.  Blue Caves – Zakynthos Island , Greece   5.  Plitvice Lakes , Croatia   6.  Riomaggiore , Italy   7.  Preachers Rock,  Preikestolen , Norway   8.  Skaftafeli ,  Iceland   9. The Dark Gorge, Salzburg , Austria   10.  Ice Canyon ,  Greenland   11. Seljalandsfoss Waterfall on the South Coast of Iceland   12.  The town of Kotor in Montenegro   13.   Church of St. John (Sveti Jovan) at Kaneo beach  overlooking  Lake Ohrid ,  Macedonia   14.  Lucca ,  Italy   15. Chamonix Mont-Blanc ,  France   16. Gulfoss in Iceland   17.   Moraine Lake , Alberta , Canada   18.   Berry Head, Avalon Peninsula ,  Newfoundland , Canada   19.  Capilano Suspension Bridge ,   Vancouver , British Columbia , Canada   20.  Valley of the Ten Peaks, Moraine Lake ,   Alberta , Canada   21.   Marble Caves , Chile Chico , Chile     22.   Cenote , Mexico       23. Verde River, Guadalajara , Mexico   24. Gruta do Lago Azul ( Blue Lake Cave ), Bonito(Beautiful),         Mato Grosso do Sul, Brazil         25.  Wadi Hitan Whale Valley , Egypt   26.  Bamboo Forest ,  Kyoto ,  Japan   27.  Sandstone Cliffs,  Zion         National Park ,  Utah , USA   28.  Hang Ken Cave , Vietnam   29.  A restaurant near Sanyou Cave above the Chang Jiang River, Hubei , China   30.  Shanxi , China   31. Yuanyang Rice Fields , China   32. Hanging Cliff Path, China   33.  China     34.  Petra ,  Jordan   35.   Cappadocia , Turkey   36.  Antelope Canyon , USA   37.   Steptoe Butte , USA   38. Horseshoe Bend , USA

 

3 Powerful Steps To Improve Your Life

By Paul Mascetta On October 14th, 2011

Being able to keep a commitment is essential to achievement, improving the quality of your life, and empowering you as an influencer.
Yet many people don’t understand the difference between decisions and commitments, and they don’t realize that this difference is why they may fail to meet their goals.
Understanding and being able to use the mechanisms behind commitments can not only help you reach your goals, it can give you great power in positively influencing others as well.
Our destiny is shaped by our decisions. Our decisions are guided by our beliefs. We formulate a belief about something which will then prompt us to make certain decisions based on that belief.
For example, let’s assume that you believe that you are overweight. That belief brings you to a decision that you have to lose weight by doing what most people do to lose weight which is to change your eating habits and exercise.
And so you do that for a few weeks and you may even see some results . But for some reason you slow down and eventually stop.
The result is that you wind up in the same state that you began in, if not worse.
So the question that I ask myself is “Why?” Why do people change their decisions from something that can benefit their lives (such as exercising, or eating better, or stopping smoking, or drinking alcohol) only to go back and do it again?
The answer is simple. It’s their belief system.
You see, it’s our beliefs that prompt us to make a decision. It doesn’t matter whether that decision is positive or negative.
The only difference is the belief. So my theory is, the reason why people seem to fall back into bad habits even after they’ve formed positive ones is because their beliefs changed somewhere along the way.
For example, consider a person who decides to quit smoking.
At some point they formed the belief that smoking is bad for them, and that if they kept it up, they would eventually have huge consequences to pay. So they stop. But eventually they start smoking again. The reason this happens is because the belief changes.
That belief could change into millions different things depending on what the original belief was. If the original belief was that there are huge consequences to pay for smoking, maybe the new belief is that those consequences only happen to certain people.
Or maybe it’s that those consequences can be fixed with the help of doctors or medications, or that those consequences take time to develop and by the time things get bad, they’ll have already quit.
Or maybe even it’s that while those consequences are serious, the reward or temporary enjoyment that they get from smoking outweighs those consequences.
Beliefs change, decisions change, and ultimately the results change.
So how do we keep the beliefs from changing? Can we even prevent beliefs from changing?
Much depends on the individual. Moreover, there are many different answers to questions and with each answer comes a new way of doing things.
One surefire way that I can I think of to stay true to a positive decision whether your belief changes or not is through making a commitment.
A true commitment is different than a decision. A decision can be changed but a true commitment cannot. Otherwise, it’s not a commitment!
I think many people have a problem with this.
They “think” they’re making commitments but in reality they’re just making decisions.
Making a commitment to stop smoking means you can never smoke again and are committed to everything that comes with it. Deciding to stop smoking means you can decide to go right back.
The point is, commitments are final and should not be changed (unless they are negative).
Here are 3 steps to quickly and simply set your commitments:

1. Write them down. Until it’s written down, it’s not real. It’s merely a thought that is circulating in your mind from time to time. Once written down however, it becomes to materialize into something of substance and only then can it stand a chance of being followed through on.

2. Next, choose 3 goals that if achieved would ensure that this commitment is being followed through on. Again, you must write them down for the same reasons listed above motioned above. These goals must be S.M.A.R.T. which means specific, measureable, attainable, realistic and timed. This will further ensure that these goals are achieved.

3. Finally, you must form the habits needed to support the attainment of these goals. We all have habits. The key is to form habits that will impact your life positively rather than negatively.

If you can make commitments that are broken down into goals which are driven by habits, you will keep those commitments alive and well. And there is no greater feeling than making a commitment and sticking to it.
One proven way to have a positive influence on other people is to show that you stick to your commitments. When you’re able to do that, you are automatically perceived as someone who has strength, focus, discipline and credibility.

How To Create Change For Others (and Yourself)

By Steve Jones On October 14th, 2011

Have you ever had a dream that felt so real that when you woke up, you thought the dream was your reality?
The reason this happens is because the mind does not understand the difference between reality and imagination.
In other words, it cannot distinguish the difference between what you visualize in your mind as opposed to what you actually experience in life.
This is extremely powerful knowledge, because all things in life are nothing more than energy in vibration.  Energy attracts energy of the same kind.  Therefore, if you can effectively visualize yourself doing something, you will at some point attract that reality into your life.
The second reason why this fact is so powerful is because every time we do something we become better at it.  Experience enables us to be better prepared every time we come across a challenging encounter or situation.
And since the mind can’t tell the difference between a “real” situation and one that you’ve imagined, if you continuously visualize that situation, you will be well-prepared for it when it takes place in reality.
Now imagine how powerful it would be if you could help other people create a crystal-clear vision of themselves in the future doing what you want them to do.  This would be extremely helpful in influencing people and gaining compliance.
Ever heard of a technique called Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP)?
It’s a very powerful technique that you can use to create that vision in another person, and influence them to live into the future you have shown them.
One NLP technique is called future pacing. Future pacing is when you take the person that you’re speaking with and mentally bring them into a future event, where they can clearly see themselves doing something.
To make the best use of future pacing, it’s helpful to know whether a person is auditory, kinesthetic, or a visual thinker. Let me explain that a bit…
Let’s assume that you’re talking with someone who is an auditory thinker and you are trying to sell them a car. One of the most effective ways to get them to purchase that car is to tell them to imagine themselves in that brand-new car driving down the highway listening to the rev of the engine and their favorite music playing in the background.
If you are dealing with a visual person, you would tell them to imagine themselves driving the car seeing the sunset and watching the trees blow in the wind as they got closer to the beach.
And if they were kinesthetic, you could tell them to imagine what it would feel like to be in the car smelling the brand-new leather and feeling the sun gently warm their skin as they cruise down the highway.
You have now done two things; first you have begun to align their thinking with the future reality that you want. So the attraction process has now begun. The second thing is that you’ve tapped into their representational system and created a presentation based on that information. You have created a strong desire that this person will now want to bring to reality.
You have embedded change into this person’s future and you have given them the opportunity to experience what you’re offering in a positive manner before they actually get to that point.
Now, the key is to show what you have to offer can help fill the desire that you have created by helping the person visualize the future.
If you can effectively do that, the person with whom you’re speaking to will be genuinely interested in what you have to offer, because they see value in it.  And the reason why they see value in it is because you’ve created a desire within their mind and presented the solution that will help them in the form of whatever it is that you’re offering.
If you enjoyed this article, then perhaps you would like to learn more about NLP. It’s a powerful system of tools and techniques that can help you enhance your life and the lives of others.

6 Tips to Reduce Your Stress

By Jason M. Gracia On October 14th, 2011

Stress is serious business. It can break down our bodies just as quickly as it breaks down our minds. Try a few of these tips to see if you can limit its negative effects.
1.It’s the Little Things
Major events have a way to bringing out the crazy in us. But did you know that small annoyances can actually lead to bigger problems?
Clinical professor at the University of Colorado, James Ehrlich, MD, says, “For some people, the little stressors we face every day are more damaging to health over the long term than the really big things, like a death in the family or a car accident.”
The reason, Ehrlich says, is that “Today, many people live in stress mode all the time, and the constant release of steroids like adrenaline and cortisol can lead directly to diseases like diabetes, heart disease, depression and cancer, and indirectly to bad health habits like undersleeping and overeating.”
A messy house or tiff with a friend might seem like a small matter, but it’s not. Take care of these little concerns and you’ll go a long way in cutting down on stress, protecting your health, and ratcheting up your happiness.
2. The Truth About Fog
I just found this statistic and had to share it with you. Not only is it interesting, but it can also help you regain perspective when things start to unravel.
According to the Bureau of Standards, “A dense fog covering seven city blocks, to a depth of 100 feet, is composed of something less than one glass of water.”
Can you imagine? Something so big actually fitting into a drinking glass.
It’s a lot like our worries. They seem enormous, but are actually much, much smaller. In fact, studies show that 92% of the thing people worry about: never happen (40%), can’t be changed (30%), are needless health concerns (12%), or are trivial worries that don’t actually matter (10%). Just 8% of what you worry about is worth all that worry. A mighty fog has been pushed into a tiny glass.
3. A New Route to Work
Here’s a simple tip you can use later today. Researchers at Ohio State University found that students who viewed a driving video of a scenic pathway through a park showed less signs of stress than students who watched videos of highway driving with strip malls and billboards.
It might take a bit longer, but a scenic drive to and from work may be just the break you need to wash the stress out of your system.
4. Quick Fix
Need to relax in a hurry? Lynn Ponton, MD, suggests lying on the floor with your hands under your face, breathing deeply and slowly, for five minutes. With how good it feels to relax, I think it’s worth a shot.
5. Ancient Wisdom
India’s 5,000 year-old medical guide, the Ayurveda, speaks of ‘marma’ points in the ears (aka. acupuncture points) that correspond to particular parts of your body. For instant relief, rub the outer edge of your ears with each hand. I’ve tried it. It works.
6. The Best Medicine?
Laughter has long been touted as nature’s best medicine. Not a bad thought, given the facts about laughter’s effect on the body. Did you know that laughing has been scientifically proven to reduce muscle tension, get the heart, lungs, and diaphragm working (easy exercise!), and increases the production of endorphins (natural painkillers)?
It’s true. And there’s more.
Not to go technical on you, but medical research scientists Dr. Lee Berk and Dr. Stanley Tan at the Loma Linda University School of Medicine found that laughing also “lowers serum cortisol levels, increases the amount of activated T lymphocytes, increases the number and activity of natural immune system killer cells, and increases the number of T cells that have helper / suppresser receptors.” In other words, you boost your immune system when you laugh.
Who would have thought the class clown could make you live longer?
Now, you could wait until something strikes you as funny. Or you could be proactive. With all of the benefits, why not put yourself in a situation that is likely to make you laugh?
Read humorists (I like Ian Frazier and S. J. Perelman). Page through comics (Calvin and Hobbes fan here). Listen to comedy albums (Bob Newhart, anyone?).
Watch funny movies. Learn new jokes. Go to a comedy club, spend time with a funny friend, or actually open one of the forty-seven forwards your co-worker sends you every day.
You could also fake it. Just as a forced smile can improve your mood, fake laughter can trigger the same benefits as the real thing. Go ahead, give it a try.
So, what about you?